We all have things that we find annoying. When you’re in a rush at the grocery store and the person in front of you has a price check.
When someone uses the last of the toilet paper and doesn’t replace the roll. When someone engages in an obnoxiously loud phone conversation on public transit.
An article in Psychology Today titled “Things that Annoy Us”, defines ‘annoyances’ as both the thing that bugs us (the stimulus) as well as the emotional reaction we have to it (our response). Although everyone has a different threshold for what will or will not irritate them, the article explains that annoyances alert us to a violation of our expectations about the way things are supposed to be. So when you reach into the fridge to grab milk for your coffee, only to discover that it is empty and was still put back in the fridge, you will feel both irritated and just a little betrayed.
Annoyances in life are an inevitable element of the human condition but how we deal with them can have a real impact on our overall mood and health. I am someone who is easily riled by annoyances. Whether it is being stuck on hold with my credit card company, or waiting in that slow crawling line at airport security, I find myself getting disproportionately tense and grumpy.
The CNN article, “How to Stop Being Annoyed At Life”, suggests that the first thing a person should do when they feel themselves getting frustrated is to take ten deep slow breaths. Taking deeper breaths delivers more oxygen to the body, which stabilizes blood pressure and invokes a relaxation response.
When another person is the cause of your annoyance, the article recommends trying to see it from their perspective by creating a hypothetical reason for their actions. So when the stranger sitting next to you on the plane will not stop talking to you, despite the book on your lap and the headphones in your ears, try to think about why they are behaving this way. Maybe they’re afraid of flying and really need the distraction, or maybe they’re lonely and don’t get many opportunities to chat. By taking a moment to empathize, you can often get past some of the annoyance of not being able to read in peace.
Maintaining perspective by recognizing that most annoyances are temporary is also important. Sure it is frustrating when the person in front of you in the grocery store checkout line is paying entirely with small change, but really, it’s only going to take a few more seconds. Maybe their annoyance is a heavy pocketful of loose change?
Finally, the article suggests trying to see the humour in the situation. If you've just locked your keys in your car before a big meeting, you can treat it as a nightmarish ordeal, or you can turn it into a funny experience. Even if it’s too soon for you to really laugh about it, a little self-deprecating humour helps defuse anger and irritation. And the redeeming feature about an annoyance? You will have forgotten all about it by the time the next one rears its irritating head.