Having a baby is a wonderful time. There is so much to learn and to try for both of you as parents. But sometimes things can go wrong.
We know that more than two-thirds of couples report a significant decrease in their relationship quality after the first year of birth of a baby. This sometimes even continues for the second year.
It seems the focus has gone from each other to the baby.
Can you do anything to stop this from happening? Yes. If you find this happening or if you simply want to improve your relationship, try some of these techniques. Improving your relationship with your partner is well worth the extra effort it may now need.
Here are a few ways to try to make your partner a high priority:
-Accept help if friends or family offer to help you out by watching your family while you have a date night out. Let your friends know how appreciative you are.
-Express your appreciation to your partner regularly. This acknowledgement matters.
-Stay connected; ask questions about each other’s day. Be interested and show it.
-Share household chores willingly. Pay attention to which one is doing the most.
-Don’t forget hugs and kisses. They remind you of the special relationship you have.
-Stay physical and vocal. Both make a difference every day.
-You need to put a lot of effort into being a new parent, but you never want to forget about putting a lot of effort into your relationship with your partner. Make a commitment to remember why you chose each other. Let your partner have your undivided attention regularly. Take some of your precious time together to be completely present. Remind yourselves why you fell in love, why you chose each other and why you are together.
The greatest thing you can do for your new baby is to love your partner. You want to be together for a long time even after your sweet baby is ready to move on.
You want to be together for a long time even after your sweet baby is ready to move on.
Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.