My son, Gage, was in a serious auto accident. We did not know if he would ever walk again. But the doctors and nurses worked a medical miracle, and Gage eventually healed.
He was up and walking in a matter of months. While he was healing, Gage was given opioids for the pain. He abused them and got hooked. When the doctor stopped writing prescriptions, Gage turned to street drugs. Eventually he was injecting heroin.
I was very worried and spent many nights praying to the Creator. There was an opioid epidemic raging across the country. Many young people were dying from drug overdoses. I asked my son if he wanted to come north and live with me. He could get away from the drug dealers and quit doing drugs. I was living in Inuvik at the time. Gage took me up on my offer. I sent him a plane ticket and he moved in, camping on my couch.
The people in Inuvik were amazing. Everyone was supportive, from the doctors and hospital staff to Gage’s boss and his co-workers at the Home Hardware, where he started to work. Gage was doing great. Except for the doctors and some of my close friends, no one even knew my son was in recovery. He stopped using illegal drugs. I thanked the Creator.
Gage started a new life in Inuvik, but after only four months he decided to return home to Ottawa. He thought he was strong enough. Plus, he was missing his girlfriend. I was worried he might relapse.
Four months is not a lot of clean time, but Gage was homesick. That’s understandable. So, with my blessing, he returned to his old stomping grounds in downtown Ottawa. Before he left, I told him if he fell off the wagon to call me. He had a very positive experience in the North. I knew he would look forward to returning if he did relapse. He knew he had a safe place to come to and a supportive community to help him through.
Relapse is part of the recovery process. Very few addicts or alcoholics quit using on their first attempt. It does happen but it’s rare. The problem with opioids is a relapse can be deadly. And by this time fentanyl had hit the streets. Fentanyl is a very powerful opioid and very deadly. Overdosing is not hard to do, even if a drug addict tries to be a safe user. From what I was reading about drug overdoses in Canada, the epidemic was getting worse.
When Gage got back to Ottawa, he hooked up with old friends. Many of them were also drug users, including Gage’s girlfriend. One night Gage went out to a party. People were drinking and using drugs, including hard drugs. He thought he could use “just one more time.” He thought he could control his habit. He thought wrong.
How many times do addicts think they can control the drugs? Most of us fall into that trap at least a few times. Our addicted minds tell us we won’t get hooked this time. This time things will be different. It’s called “stinking thinking.” After many years of using and abusing substances, it’s insane for a hardcore addict or alcoholic to think they can use again and things will be different. Maybe for a few who have recovered, that’s true. But it’s not true for the hardcore users. It usually does not take long to find out. Like they say at Alcoholics Anonymous, “One drink is too many, and 100 drinks are not enough.” The same goes for hardcore drug abusers.
Within two weeks, Gage was using everyday. His recovery was too short. He did not have enough clean time. He got trapped by his own stinking thinking, but that’s how addicts learn. Gage had a good start, but he could not stick with it. As I said above, relapse is part of recovery.
Addicts, like children, are “magical thinkers.” They miss something while growing up. Addicts and alcoholics do not want to face the world. They get stuck in the magical world of drugs and alcohol. Substances offer an instant solution. They magically take away the pain, trauma, anxiety and boredom of life. This is why addicts are stunted emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
I saw this in my son. Gage was not very responsible. He did not like the reality he saw around him. He had some childish views about the world. Sometimes he could be funny, smart and very creative. But Gage was stuck in “rebellious teenager mode.” The world was just not fair. He rebelled by using drugs. In recovery, there is a lot of catching up to do. He needed to face reality. He needed to face life on life’s terms. He needed to grow up.
Gage relapsed. He was back to using opioids, including fentanyl, and he started using every day. He was in trouble and knew he it. Fortunately, he remembered to call me. He asked to come back north. By this time, I was living in Yellowknife. I had retired from my government job at the Inuvik hospital. I was not surprised Gage called me back. I was ready for his call.
My sold said he needed to put his stuff in storage and move out of his downtown apartment for good. We then made arrangements for him to fly to Yellowknife. I warned him Yellowknife was not Inuvik. It’s a government town. It’s bigger and more bureaucratic. Getting help would not be so easy. Yellowknife was also starting to get hit by the opioid crisis. Fentanyl had arrived in the North. Things in Yellowknife would not be as easy as they were in small-town Inuvik. Gage was in for a rude awakening. Part five of Gage’s story coming soon.
—Darrell Taylor is a retired mental health professional who has lived in the NWT and Nunavut for 20 years. He is originally from Ontario and is a member of the North Bay/Mattawa Algonquins.