Editor's note: Jon Howe bids farewell to the Wade Hamer Hockey League season, better known as WIMPS. As he does every season, he gave us some laughs about the goings-on within the mediocre section of the hockey-playing universe in Yellowknife and is in need of a well-deserved summer off.
Pay special attention to the final two paragraphs – you may find something you like.
The WIMPS season ending bunfest was held at the Multiplex on April 14. As part of the festivities, we recognized our very own for their special contributions during the 2017/18 season.
Hendrik Falck is our WIMP of the Year and will have his name added to the Mike Kuntz Memorial Trophy. Upon hearing the news, my first thought was that this made Falck a repeat winner, rather like the way Dean Cluff used to have the Hands of Stone Award all to himself.
To my surprise, Falck is new to the list of recipients. But to the surprise of nobody, it is an honour well deserved and overdue.
Congratulations to Andreas Meyer for being our “Hands of Stone” recipient this season. The name of the award is only a partial description of the judging criteria. “Bill Masterton – WIMPS Edition” might be more fully descriptive. So wear it loud and proud, Meyer, it really does look good on you.
Megan Canning received our “Head of Stone” award, otherwise known as Goalie of the Year. The 440 Squadron has long been a gold mine for netminders. Last year’s recipient, Jonathan Bisson, could have been Patrick Roy’s stunt double. When he moved away, I wondered how long it would take for an equally accomplished puck stopper to parachute in.
The answer was not long at all, as Canning has quickly gained fame as a top-tier goalie. It was a tough year for the goalie pool, with injuries and shift work taking its toll, but Megan went above and beyond to fill the open spots with great enthusiasm.
Thanks are in order for Emma Sutton who brought the cookies to our year-end. When I imagine something steaming warm, with a unique aroma, something entirely unlike Sutton’s work comes to mind, so the WIMPS universe is doubly surprised and appreciative of her sweet and delicious generosity.
Thanks are also in order for the members of JTFN in addition to the aforementioned Canning. They are too numerous to mention by name but should know that their participation in WIMPS has been our strength. I sometimes wonder if we return the favour. Our league is an incubator of improvement in physical fitness and teamwork, but we don’t even pretend to be part of any well-oiled war machine. In any event, we hope that the folks in uniform continue to seek us out as a worthy activity during their tour of the North.
Members of the Duma (Russian parliament) should know that the President intends to convene a meeting sometime within the next month to review the season past and prepare for 2018-2019.
If anybody has a lingering need to grab a stick and swing at something, and in a fashion unknown to Kevin O'Reilly, Rick Walbourne has booked some time at the ice-free Multiplex for ball hockey starting the first week of May. He would like to hear from new and returning players alike. I am living proof that not much more beyond a pair of running shoes and an old hockey stick earns you a spot on the dance floor.
This is my last column for the 2017-2018 season, and the usual thanks are in order to Yellowknifer for helping WIMPS reach out to their readership. James McCarthy, the sports editor, is no doubt looking for a typist to fill some column space so he doesn’t have to. If you have a sport or activity and want to bring it to a wider audience, this is a great gig which, I can assure you, requires no special talent or skill, just a willingness to blab about something you presumably enjoy doing and blabbing about already.
Who knows – you might just have what it takes to make this paper worth buying.