Are you a phubber? What the heck is that you say? Hahaha. I just read a good article on phubbing, so I say you’re a phubber if you’re guilty of phubbing, or "phone snubbing."
Eschia – take it easy, eh!
Phubbing is looking at your cell phone instead of talking to the person you’re with. The thing is research shows that phubbing can bugger up your relationship with your spouse, friends and with your kids. Whoa!
Of course, cell phones are wonderful things and you can do a lot of good things with them. But, just like anything else, too much of it can lead to problems.
For instance, texting and using cell phones while driving may soon be the number one cause of fatal car accidents for teenage drivers.
Effects of phubbing
Apparently, when people are phubbing, that is not how we expect them to act and we feel uncomfortable when their behavior is not predictable.
Phubbing once in a while is okay if you’re waiting for an important email or text. But it’s a problem when you’re constantly checking texts and emails that adds up to lots of time on the phone.
In fact, you might be using a good part of your family time focusing on your phone instead of on your family. And considering how busy families are today, that’s a heavy price to pay.
When I’m with someone who spends a lot of time on his cell phone, it feels like his phone is more important than me. Rude behavior, dude.
A recent survey found that phubbing makes us feel bad, but even worse, it leads to unhappiness and depression and can cause conflict in relationships. Meanwhile, relationships are the cornerstone of our happiness.
The Cost of Phubbing
Every minute we spend online means we have less time for important things in our lives, like work, sleep, leisure and family time.
It’s addictive. Research shows that smartphones are powerful mind and mood-altering devices that can be as addictive as gambling. Not cool, man.
It's contagious. When we’re phubbed, we pull out our own phones in self-defense. And to boot, kids learn by watching what we do, so if I’m always on my phone I’m teaching my kid it’s okay to do that.
In fact, 62 per cent of kids aged six to 12 in a recent study said their parents are distracted when talking to them, usually by being on their cell phone. Sound familiar? Maybe your interaction with your child or spouse is not as good as you think. Oh, oh!
When kids are always on a device with a screen, like a phone, computer, tablet or TV, it changes the way they handle boredom and it’s less likely that they'll do things to be creative or use their imagination.
How many of us have done things on the phone or computer, then found that we'd spent much more time than we had planned? Apparently, 80 to 90 per cent of us do that. Including me. Yep, guilty.
Want to do less phubbing?
Make it a rule in your house that everyone stops using devices like phones and computers after a certain time at night. That means no texting, emailing, posting to social media and so on. Whew, sound tough? Lol!
Keep cell phones away from the dinner table or if you’re meeting someone for coffee. You can use that time to actually talk to each other about various things like how your day was and how you’re doing.
Keep your phone in your pocket when you’re talking to someone, especially your spouse or your kids.
And guess what? Yep, there’s an app to monitor how much a person uses his phone. So, you can see how much time everybody in your family spends on their phones, including you.
Make time to spend with your spouse that’s cell free. Jean and I have date night every Friday, plus, we like to catch up on each other’s day before bed. Woohoo.
There is help available if it feels like you can’t stop using your phone so much. Yes indeed, if you want to regain control of your phone usage, talk to a therapist who specializes in addiction counseling. After all, you are dealing with an addiction.