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Just in case you are colour blind and haven't noticed it yet, a new street gang has suddenly moved into Yellowknife in a big way.

If you look carefully you will see their members in their distinctive jackets everywhere. It is too late to shout that the "Red Coats are coming." They are already here and they are among us.

So be advised, Red Dragons. Watch out, Old Town Bullies. Be careful Downtown Townies and be cautious, Stanton Plaza Skateboarders, the Volunteers in their red jackets are here and they are here to stay. They even have their own security force of enforcers in bright yellow jackets.

If you look at the jackets carefully, on the front they say Northwestel. Rumour has it that if the gang succeeds here, there will soon be a Northeast, Southeast and Southwest chapter to cover the entire country. In fact the Northwest jackets and their members have already been spotted travelling and recruiting in other provinces and territories. The RCMP Organized Gang Investigation Unit is scrambling and working overtime to infiltrate the gang.

The authorities have good reason to be concerned because at first the clandestine gang worked at recruiting in secret. Then they suddenly had a coming out ceremony in March and they all donned their jackets simultaneously. In Yellowknife alone there are close to 3,000 members. They have members in the federal, territorial and city governments, at the hospital, in the fire department, in schools and businesses. Even the seniors and retired people have been recruited and corrupted. Sure, they claimed it was all for the Arctic Winter Games, but the games are over and the red jackets are still out there.

The gang members of course have their secret passwords, handshake and signals. I have managed to figure out one of their passwords. One gang members slips up to another and says "I like your jacket" and if the person wearing it is truly a gang member, they smile and reply "I like yours too."

This has to be a secret password system because two strangers wouldn't normally go through such a silly ritual.

As for handshakes I think it involves using hand sanitizer after shaking hands because I saw a gang member passing little bottles of hand sanitizer out to other gang members.

The question has to be asked, what is this gang up to? What are their ultimate goals and objectives? Are they a force of good or evil? Are they a political, social, criminal or anti-crime movement? Is this just a passing phenomenon or are the red-jacketed Volunteers here to stay? What cause or effort will they be involved in next?

I saw one of their members picking up litter off of the street the other day. I saw another one giving clear and accurate directions to a visitor. I saw two of them helping a motorist who had gotten stuck after the city plowed a street. Do we really want gang members performing good and altruistic acts willy-nilly on the streets of our city?

As one visiting senior Ottawa bureaucrat was overheard to say, "We have to shut this gang down as soon as possible. Unpaid volunteerism could ruin our economy and put government employees out of work." He went on to say "I want Revenue Canada to prosecute any Gang Member who doesn't declare the value of his or her jacket on this year's income tax. We need to call a royal commission to see what this sinister gang of volunteers is really up to, before it is too late."

He even sent out an intergovernmental memo: "Beware and wary of the red-coated street gang called the Volunteers. Any gang pretending to do good is probably up to no good and must be stopped."

- Walt Humphries is a well-known Yellowknife artist and prospector